10 February, 2017
Steve doesn't love this picture, but I do!
A couple nights ago, Steven got home from work right as I was putting the kids to bed. Merit was so sad. She'd been so sick that day - fever and cough and major goopy eyes. She just rode around on my hip as I went from task to task moaning quietly.
Usually the babies want me when they're sick, but as soon as she saw Steven her eyes lit up and she reached for him. He pulled her into his arms and she cuddled right into him and laid against his chest, playing with his shirt collar, cooing.
You could see the relief in her face.
When Steven and I were engaged and I had insanely cold feet (I was a dramatic, idiotic, horrible commitment/decision maker), I was stuck in the mud of indecision and fear, wrestling with demons that were making me more and more afraid to just go for it and get married. You non-Mormons are probably shaking your head and saying, "Idiot! You were only 19! What's the rush?!" Ha.
But in the midst of all the yuck of that time period, I had this specific little piece of light - just a special image of Steven - that brought total peace and comfort to my heart. If I latched onto that, I felt anchored and brave and courageous and capable of moving forward. I returned to that image so many times, and still do in moments of turmoil.
We have a wonderful anchor for our family; I'm so thankful for Steven!