Today I went to Costco. Kjel has been begging for a pineapple the last two or three trips to the grocery store but I've said no because both Gage and I have major reactions even touching fresh pineapple (soooooo sad but true). I mean not major reactions as in, "WAHOO! A PINEAPPLE!" Major reactions as in hives and swollen tongues. It's gross. Anyway, I gave in and bought her one today. Then I gave in and ate a couple pieces which were heavenly and juicy. And then IMMEDIATELY my left arm broke out in itchy hives and my tongue swelled up. So gross. So worth it ;). Anyway, funny how that pineapple TOTALLY matches the painting I just finished! That has nothing to do with this post, but I thought I'd document it ;).
I have a collection of journals and the "Notes" section on my phone filled with quotes and poems I have found through the years. I literally have hundreds of them! I was reading one to Steven the other day when I felt this huge desire to start blogging them - just so that we have a record of them down the line a few years from now, when reading over these old posts. So every now and then I will try to get some written down.
Here is a favorite:
"See how the masses of men worry themselves into nameless graves, while here and there, a great unselfish soul forgets himself into immortality." - Ralph Waldo Emerson
It reminds me of the story of President Gordon B. Hinckley (he was the last prophet and president of our church before he passed away in 2008, now the prophet is President Thomas S. Monson), when he was on his mission in England. He was feeling low but totally turned a new leaf and went forward happily after receiving a letter from his dad which said, "forget yourself and go to work".
Remember how I wrote a little bit about how I maybe have SAD? It's still looming. I hate having that little cloud threatening to ruin my sunshine! Winter is just dang hard, I think. Anyway, today I started feeling it majorly pushing on me in the afternoon. Everything was just so bitterly cold and I felt that helplessness that I sometimes feel in the depth of winter and I also feel it when I have a bad case of the stomach flu. Anyway, right after dinner it was peaking and I realized right then that I needed to do something special for my family. So we loaded everyone up in their PJ's into the nice, warm van (ha) and drove to the Dairy Queen drive thru for kid cones (and a mini salted caramel blizzard for me and a cookie dough blizzard for Steven). When we got home, Gage asked me to find the song "Sing" by the Pentatonix (because it is his favorite song, cute, huh?!) and so I found it and we had a quick dance party before bed.
Please don't think every night is like this - many nights Steven isn't home till the kids are in bed, or comes home for a quick dinner then rushes off to a work or church meeting. But tonight the stars aligned and we were able to have a fun outing and dance party before I had to rush off to a meeting.
It was good. I felt the endorphins come back and my heart lightened up.
There is something so so good in forgetting oneself. I would know - I've practically "worried myself into a nameless grave" a bazillion times over so many stupid things. Sorry I said stupid. But when I take my focus off of myself and try to make magic for someone else, magic happens for me.