"I have learned that now that while those who speak about one's miseries hurt, those who keep silence hurt more." - CS Lewis
I read it right before bed and fell asleep kind of disgruntled, thinking about it. It was still on my mind when I woke up. Who doesn't agree with CS Lewis? What kind of person am I?
I was picking up Gage from joy school when this song came on in the car (we have six different disks on shuffle, so you never know what you're going to get).
"Just keep your head above."
You know what? I had an epiphany. I thought about the trials that I've elected to talk about with others, write about, blog about, all that. Those things hurt. Talking about them helped me heal from them - partially because I believe in the power of communication. But also in talking about them, I found community and fellowship with others who had gone through similar things. Sharing my story was an integral part of my healing process.
And then I thought about the trials that I've kept private. And you know what? They still hurt. While the ones I've shared with others don't really prick or sting any more.
I came to this conclusion - CS Lewis is right. It is far more painful to bear burdens all alone than to share with others who will help you carry them. It's easier to keep them all tied up in a little knot in the middle of your heart where no one will find them. And maybe it's important to do that for a while - hold onto the trials or pain or whatever and feel them and ponder and grow. And when it's time, I think it's important to tell your story and find your people and offer strength as it's offered to you.
My sister-in-law wrote this post recently and I thought how fitting.
You never know what magic will spark when you share a bit of your pain with someone else. Healing, camaraderie, friendship. Whoa, in fact, I think there's another CS Lewis quote about that:
"Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: What! You too? I thought I was the only one."
What an insightful person. Seriously. I'd love to have a long talk with CS Lewis on a Sunday at my kitchen table.