My mom's in the TV business and one of her acquaintances once told me that Oprah Winfrey is a total snot in real life. I haven't really liked her since then, but I do completely agree with this:
image via pinterest
Last year I had an incredible "Aha" moment, when I realized that I've been pulling stress into my life for as long as I can remember. I decided to actively avoid stress (considering that stress and hardships will come no matter what) by avoiding things/people that orbit around negativity.
I didn't exactly know how to do this, but I've learned a few things over the year that have helped me a lot.
- If someone you love - a family member or long-time friend - is one of those people that brings negativity into your life or "doesn't lift you higher", you don't have to make it obvious that you are not inviting them into your emotional community. When they come into your mind, send them all the good wishes you can think of, like health and success and even good weather. Then move on, mentally. I can't tell you how well this works for me - first, it has changed the way I feel about those people. Not that they are necessarily invited into my emotional community - they're not - they don't lift me higher. But I do see them now as works in progress rather than dead ends. As I 'send' them those wishes, I feel like I'm doing my small part in lifting them (even if they have no clue that I'm sending telepathic fortune cookies).
- Do all you can and then be satisfied. This doesn't just go for the whole people aspect of my new life's mantra - it also goes for stressful/negative situations. By saying "do all you can", I'm not saying run yourself ragged - the opposite, in fact. Do all you feel you should, then take a deep breath. If you feel that what you should do is going to exhaust you and run you ragged, then re-think it. I believe that we are not meant to push ourselves to the point of mental exhaustion and anguish over stress. Same goes with people - if you want a good relationship, put it out there. Let them know, be clear. Then, after you've hit the "sent" button or parted ways with a hug or whatever, feel satisfaction and peace. You've done all you can. They may reciprocate, or they may not even respond.
- Discomfort and stress are very different. Growth requires stretching which is uncomfortable. Stress shrinks us. It doesn't lift us or enlarge us. I am a firm believer that trials are always for our good, but stress if never for our good.
I hope I'm a "lifter" of those around me, but if I'm not, I know I can get there.